Officially, the truce is still on; but on the ground, the talk and the mood inside the Skettel Party are indicative of anything but peace and unity. Since the official declaration of the truce and accompanying cease-fire three weeks ago, there have been all sorts of moves and countermoves, most of them behind the scenes. And while there might be no guns blazing, the silent and stealthy advance is nonetheless vicious and lethal. Â
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The Squeaky One, for his part, made a not so furtive attempt this past week to shore up his floundering leadership. He convened a special meeting in Patchakan, Corozal District, attended by his handpicked party executives and representatives from 23 constituencies, the same ones which scribbling skettels at the skewed ‘perspective’ have been telling us week after week (prior to the declaration of the fragile truce) have been utterly ineffective. Not that anyone needed any confirmation from that particular ‘perspective’ that Johnny and the entire PUP are a complete waste of time these days.
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The meeting itself was a waste of time, and one needed no further proof of this than the fact that it was chaired by an all but forgotten senile skettel called Valdemar. No disrespect to the good people of Patchakan (which is indisputably one of our most beautiful rural communities), but the fact that a so-called leader from the North who many within his own party are already saying lacks the capacity and national appeal to lead the country, would retreat to a little corner in the extreme north for comfort and reassurance, is conclusive confirmation that he is a leader on the run, not one on the rise.
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Who is he running from? We’ll tell you in a little. But first, let’s just end our synopsis of that waste of time meeting Tuesday night in Patchakan. We understand that, whatever it’s worth, Johnny and Nada did get what they wanted out of the meeting, as those present expressed unanimous support for the Leadership of the Squeaky One. What else could be expected when these are the people whom Johnny handpicked to represent those constituencies, and when they were the only ones invited to the meeting? Another SMART move, Johnny!
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Again, we note that only 23 of the 31 constituencies were represented at the meeting. But if that is not enough to shore up the Squeaky One’s embattled leadership, we in the UDP would like to pledge our full support for that position, with the endorsement of all our executives and representatives from the 31 constituencies countrywide, as with a leader like Johnny on that side of the political arena, we on this side will certainly have nothing at all to worry about going into the next general elections. Que Viva Johnny!
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But while Johnny pleasurably massages himself, we must warn him it’s not too SMART of him to keep staring into the mirror, as there’s no shortage of schemes and deals being struck behind his back to get him out of the way with as much haste as possible. We won’t claim to know the whole story, which would be impossible in any case, as the plot is a constantly evolving one. Suffice it to say, outside of his little collapsing circle, all other skettels of consequence seem to be coming together these days just to ensure that the Squeaky One does not pull off another upset and remain at the throne of Sketteldom. In other words, they are determined to ensure that one single person challenges Johnny for the leadership, and that everyone else throws their support behind that person.
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That, of course, is easier said than done, for as much as skettels would like to depend on each other to advance their common skettellian cause, there can be no such thing as real trust among those who, by their very classification, are without principle. A glaring reminder of this came last week when, even as Saintly Skettel and ‘Funds-Taker The Second’ were holding clandestine talks with the view of one supporting the other for a leadership bid, ‘Father-In-Law X’ was throwing, not stones, but giant boulders at ‘Cousin Ralph’ from behind the Zinc Fence.
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We know we have promised to share with you a lot more of the juicy gossip about the unflattering things aspiring skettellian kings and queens have been saying about each other behind the back. Unfortunately, there are urgent matters we must deal with; and, unlike those worthless and hopeless skettels, we have real work to do. A story worth telling is a story worth telling well; so let us save it for next week when, hopefully, we’ll have a little more time to spare.
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Bye, Johnny! And remember now, Noh watch yuh self, watch all other skettels! They’re coming for you!
