With Halloween gone very little now stands between us and Christmas, that time of year that is so special for most Belizeans. Whether because of religious sentiment, memories of the winter solstice in more temperate climes, historical freedoms associated with the slave mahogany cutting cycle or modern consumerism; there is something for everyone at Christmas. But with every up there has to be a down and Christmas is no exception. This is a time to be with one’s family, but so many people will spend it alone; a time to celebrate with gifts and abundant food, but in these difficult times it will be a thin Christmas for many.
There is no shortage of self-styled experts telling us how to manage the stress associated with holidays but unfortunately their brilliant ideas are usually so obvious that they have very little to teach us. The best we can do is to go with the wisdom of our “grannies”. Start by lowering your own expectations and those of the people around you. If you can’t afford to enter into the office Kris Kringle tell your co-workers that your religion frowns upon such pagan practices. Ditto for Christmas trees, decorations and lights. No money for expensive gifts? Explain to your family and friends that you are tired of the commercialisation of Christmas and that you are going back to basics with homemade gifts, and then get out your crochet hook and make a few coasters. Can’t afford the traditional turkey and ham? Borrow a BB gun and find a “traditional” recipe for pigeon pie. No money for top shelf liquor? Buy some plastic buckets, raid your neighbour’s fruit tree and make your own wines.
Then you can find easy ways to cut corners. Cut down on your food bill by reducing portions and tell your family it’s part of a wonderful new diet plan that’s taking the world by storm. Slash your grocery bills by removing those expensive junk foods that your family craves as part of your “Getting Healthy for Christmas” regime as seen on TV. Can’t afford to go to the gym? Chase your husband/wife/children around the block a few times a week any time they ask if you are having a nervous breakdown. Go green with environmentally friendly serving of leftovers, reusing envelopes and paper and turning off most of the lights. If you want to take it to an extreme, send all your Christmas cards by email as a way of saving trees. One thing you can’t afford to scrimp on is the lotto. The chances of winning are slim but obviously you have to grasp at any straw available.
If all else fails, go and demonstrate outside your area representative’s office demanding a turkey, money to pay bills and a highly paid job for which you are not qualified. Be sure to hold a placard explaining that you are a stalwart of the Party having voted for them two or three times in the past and even phoned the talk shows. If you find a crowd of several thousand with the same idea who got there before you, push your way to the front and shout louder than anyone else.
If Christmas comes and you still cannot manage the celebration you had been looking forward to, your only other option is to find a secluded spot somewhere and become a hermit for a few weeks to “reconnect with your inner spirit”.
Good luck. You’ll need it.
