“Listening Parent”
Parents play a major role in the life of a child. They nurture, care, educate and most importantly spend time with them on a daily basis. There is no doubt that being a parent is a lot of responsibility. It requires constant attention and practice even when continuing other daily activities like a job. When parents have time to listen to their children, the communication is open between parties. It allows for a bond to develop and continue. Many parents fail to realize that ideal parents should be of good moral character, patience, and most importantly a good listener. Parents can become good listeners by following guidelines to improve communication.
In order to start developing good listening skills toward your child you need to start by being interested in talking. Ask about your child’s ideas and opinions regularly. You can start with small questions like “Which color you think we should paint the living room?” If you show your child that you’re really interested in what he or she thinks and feels, and that you want to know what their opinions are, they will eventually become comfortable about expressing their thoughts to you. This would also help you develop trust and confidence to comfortably ask your child’s opinion concerning other range of topics as well as sharing your thoughts. This helps form a bond between you and your child.
Being a good listener involves being able to communicate well. In order to have a good communication between you and your child try to avoid “YES or NO” questions. Involve questions that allow for a conversation rather than a boring awkward dead end. This also makes it able to extend conversations. This helps because you will find yourself easily picking up a piece of your child’s conversation. When you use your child’s own phrasing or terms, you strengthen their confidence and reassure them that their ideas are being listened to and valued.
A next tip for being a good listener is to give your full attention to the person who is talking to you. Many parents fail to do this either because they are busy doing work, watching television or simply texting. When your child comes around to ask a question or to talk you need to give them your undivided attention. Make eye contact and block all distractions that are around. As you listen, try to make your child’s feelings clear by stating them in your own words. Misunderstandings are avoided when you make clear what you are discussing. Listen to what they are telling you and try to relate to what they are speaking to you about. This lets your child feel important as well as cared for. Your child will know that they can come to you anytime to talk to you and won’t be ignored.
Good listening skills also involve being observant to non-verbal messages. Many messages children send are communicated non-verbally by their tone of voice, their facial expressions, their energy level, their posture, or changes in their behavior patterns. You can often tell more from the way a child says something than from what is said. When a child comes in obviously upset, be sure to find a quiet time then or wait for when they have calmed down sometime that day to help explore those feelings. Also watch your child for signs that it’s time to end a conversation. When they begin to stare into space, yawn or give silly responses, or ask you to repeat several of your comments, it’s probably time to stop the exchange for that moment. But most importantly be observant to your child actions when they are not talking or around you. Some children show anger or that they are bothered by the way they walk, hold objects etc.
Clearly being a parent takes a lot of responsibility, time and effort. Good listening and communications skills can help avoid problems or even make it easier in being a parent. Bonds between parents and their child could develop or even become stronger once communication exists.
