Every so often in life, I find myself facing a new milestone. Often, I find them to be bitter-sweet life moments that mold me to higher heights of self-actualization. Both our positive and negative milestones help us grow, or change who we are as persons in some significant way.
It is important to recognize milestones because once you do recognize them, you can be more accepting of the ways that they will change and grow you.
Milestones are different for each person. For you it might be graduating college, or having your first child, getting married or even hitting rock bottom. There are several milestones that have shaped the person that I am today. I’d like to share what I think are the top 5.
1. Realizing my passion
Realizing your passion is one of the most important milestones for achieving self-actualization. People always say they are attracted to others who are passionate about something. Nobody wants to be vanilla – having a passion is sexy. The problem is, sometimes we don’t know what our passion is. Is it music? Teaching? Sports? Writing? What if you are not sure?
Sometimes, like a light bulb, it is realized when we least expect it. That is why, I believe that the key to figuring your true passion, is giving yourself the chance to experience new things.
I realized my love for media and writing in a most unexpected way.
It was an ordinary Tuesday afternoon while walking up and down Albert Street searching the shops for crystal buttons that I wanted for god knows what… I can’t remember now… , when a sign from one of the second story buildings caught my attention.
“Are you a model or an actor?” it read. According to the sign if I wanted to be one of those things, all I had to do was walk up the steps, enter the second door to the right and fill out a “13 Productions” application form. I did. And one week later I was acting in my first TV commercial. Two weeks after that I was voicing ads. My absolute favorite was writing ad scripts and infomercial scripts. I’ve stayed close to media ever since and my love for television and writing has only grown.
2. Falling in Love
Whether it is your fist love or your true love, falling in love is the closest thing we have to real magic. The wondering feeling of contentment we have when we meet that special someone is worth the wait – even if it feels like it took forever to get there.
3. Travelling
I was 21 years old when I got on a plane to LA for the first time. I tried to wrap my mind around the idea that when this plane landed I would be in The US of A—a place I had only seen on TV screens and photographs. I was excited and apprehensive at the same time. Not only was this my first trip to the United States but I was travelling alone. I was nervous that I would not be able to navigate the airports… that I would get lost. What if there was no one at the airport to pick me up when I arrived?
But as the plane took off, I was too awestruck to be anything but high on excitement. I flew over city after city and I marveled at the sheer size and the night lights of each. The world from that eye view? It changed my perspective. It made me realize that I am just this small piece of this massive world. It humbled me and excited me that my playing field had just opened up– for up above the clouds I felt no borders and saw no boundaries. Just a world that was mine for the taking.
4. Higher learning
Higher learning refers to each time you learn something new; each time you question prior knowledge and build on what you previously know.
It becomes a milestone when you acquire new knowledge or understanding of a new concept that presented some challenge for you.
Whether it is an understanding of Confucian philosophy, a new mathematical concept, a new skill you can bring to your job or a university degree, each time learning takes place it gives you a higher understanding of the self and the world we live in. Never forget; what we learn becomes a part of who we are.
5. Getting Your Heart Broken For The First Time
Ending a very long term relationship 2 years ago has been my most challenging milestone to date. This milestone I avoided for as long as possible. I took detours, I back tracked and even resorted to stagnancy because as I learnt…
When ending a long term relationship you can lose a lot. You lose your best friend, some of your assets, a certain sense of comfort and security –a part of your identity. You lose the person you designated to experience and conquer the world with. You lose a piece of your heart.
I wish I could go back in time and tell my confused, crying self that everything was going to be ok – because everything will always be ok.
The entire reason for stepping away and into my own was to gain all other things my higher self needed.
So while there was loss I am proud of the gains. I gained independence and confidence in my ability to stand on my own and a chance to develop my talents and gifts that I have to offer the world. I learned to stretch my limits. A favorite quote of mine goes, “if you never take off your high heels how will you know how fast and how far you can run?”
Today I no longer fear milestones. I look out for them anticipate the growth that comes with each– marriage, motherhood, owning my first home — and all that is in store.
